03 Nov The God Warrior
Beauty isn’t just about the skin.
To ease my angst as a first date with seriously hot guy approached, who else would I seek advice from but my good friend and beauty therapist (BT)?
The date in question had emailed me some rather artistic but nude photos of himself, so I forwarded these on to my BT, along with a plea for help.
Her response was….
Are you serious…OMG what is he… a God Warrior?? Fab amazing body and if you get the chance you must jump him hee hee!! I can’t wait to hear about the first date!!
Being the nice girl that I am, I forwarded BT’s email to the GW with the intention of bolstering his confidence.
Note to self: Given said photos perhaps I should have realised that: a) His confidence did not need bolstering b) Nor was it his ego that he wanted stroked
In my naivety I did not consider the consequences of forwarding on her email. I certainly did not expect that he would seek advice from my advisor!!!
I was hoping you might be able to help me.
I have a date with a girl on Saturday who insists on being called Princess. I want to make a good impression and was thinking maybe a facial and a bikini wax might be in order? I’m concerned that she will try and jump my bones on sight so I want to look my best.
I am meeting her in BrisVegas and was wondering if turning up naked would be going too far? What do you think? The forecast is for a warm day so I should be looking good, especially post waxing.
I have a nagging suspicion that she is unbalanced but she assures me she is the world’s best kisser and has many other talents honed to perfection from years of singledom, poor choices and a total lack of impulse control.
It’s going to be a bumpy ride…
Hoping you can help.
Fortunately my girlfriend (being the consummate professional that she is) took his email in her stride and responded with:
I hope you’re looking forward to your date with the Princess. Ahh lucky it’s such a warm day, especially if you plan to turn up naked…but I strongly advise not to do this without your bikini waxed first!! I also understand there is a pact not to jump each other’s bones…. so I’m afraid you will be out of luck!!
But I sincerely hope you turn out to be the knight in shining armour for our Princess, or warrior with pole in hand (you seem to have a mighty firm grasp on it in your photos). Rest assured that the Princess only seems unbalanced to newcomers, I can guarantee she’s definitely far more gone than that
Enjoy your date and I hope you can report on the world’s best kisser claim!
Joy and abundance BT
Sadly there was no happily ever after for the GW and the Princess but all was not in vain. The GW and BT have formed a blossoming relationship and rumour has it that he now proudly sports the cleanest back, crack and sac in Brisvegas.