Frogs & Expectations

27 Oct Frogs & Expectations

Enrichment Lesson
Chivalry helps separate the frogs from the princes.

Call me old fashioned. On the first date I don’t expect a man to pay (I always offer) but I like it when he does it’s just chivalrous. Unless I’ve invited him out I certainly don’t expect to pay for my partner, especially when I didn’t even offer!

We met at 4 pm at my regular rendezvous. (Note to self: time to find a new haunt when the barman smiles at you cheekily and says, “Hi good to see you again, how are you today?” as he glances at my latest companion.)

We sat outside overlooking the beach. It had become overcast. The wind was quite strong and carried a few random drops of rain. He was a nice guy, an engineer. The chat was pleasant enough. But there was no connection. I didn’t laugh, he didn’t challenge. After the standard 2 beers (for him) and 2 bitters lime and soda’s (for me), I decided it was time to wrap things up. I wanted to get home before the rain hit and I still had to pack for my boat trip the next day.

We walked up to the bar to pay the bill, some paltry sum of $15. We both pulled out a $50 note. I could see that he had change in his wallet whereas I did not. So when my good friend the barman looked at me and said “shall I take it out of that,?” pointing towards my $50. I said “yes,” without giving it much thought.

I suppose I expected that my “date” would either demur, or offer me some change from his wallet. Instead he said “thanks” put away his $50 and stuck his wallet back into his pocket. I was affronted. It wasn’t the amount of money involved; it was the complete lack of chivalry.

I have never laid claim to being a feminist. I don’ think men and women are equal. We are different. As the physically weaker sex, I like a man to take care of me, to walk between me and the traffic, and to offer to pay for the first drink! It makes me feel feminine, cherished and protected.

I am the perfectly self-sufficient modern woman. However, a small part of me is also the princess from my childhood fairy tales, waiting for the handsome white prince to sweep in on his white stallion.