29 May Enjoy The Ride
Enrichment Lesson
As long as you are enjoying the ride don’t worry about the destination.
When does dating metamorphosis into a relationship? When you sleep together? When you agree that you are “seeing” each other exclusively?
Is it when those three over used words get said? (which incidentally doesn’t count in the throes of passion). Or does it just occur magically, as if by osmosis and you are just supposed to know?
What happens when one person thinks you are in a relationship and the other doesn’t? How can you be certain your “partner” agrees? When he stops phoning you daily, as he is now certain of you? Or when he starts phoning you daily, indicating his increased interest?
I have never progressed from dating to a relationship. I knew all my previous partners well for some years before we went out together, so we never “dated” we just started going out together. Or in some cases sleeping together, and then they would be convincing me that we were going out together.
I think dating sucks. Maybe I am just not cut out for it. I feel like a sixteen year old. It is ridiculous that I am learning how to do this at the tender age of 40 something. It would be laughable, if it didn’t cause me so much angst.
I was having a few drinks with a girlfriend (On The Verandah) the other night. She coyly asked me “So, how is the new boyfriend?” I automatically replied,_ “He is not my boyfriend.”_ “Well what is he then?” she asked. “The guy I am seeing?” “Nah,” she said,_ “too vague.”_ “The guy I am shagging?” “Nah,” _she said, _“implies non-exclusivity; he could be one of many.” _I threw a cushion at her. We both laughed. _“Shit I don’t know. What about the only guy I am shagging?”
She shrugged her shoulders and picked up the bottle of wine. “Can you be seeing someone exclusively and not be in a relationship? Isn’t a relationship all about commitment?” I briefly pondered her questions as I sipped my wine. “What is the distinction between a relationship and dating? Is commitment different to exclusivity?” I shook my head, it was too damned hard.
I pushed my wine glass across to her and decide to enjoy another drink instead. Putting a label on it seems irrelevant. “Whatever” I said, “As long as I am enjoying it, that’s all that matters.”
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